Poor Thing

Isn't that a room up there over the pie shop?

If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out?

That should bring in something

Up there?

Oh, no one will go near it

People think it's haunted

You see, years ago

Something happened up there

Something not very nice

There was a barber and his wife

And he was beautiful

A proper artist with a knife

But they transported him for life

And he was beautiful

Barker his name was-- Benjamin Barker

Transported? What was his crime?

Foolishness

He had this wife, you see

Pretty little thing

Silly little nit

Had her chance for the moon on a string--

Poor thing, poor thing

There were these two, you see

Wanted her like mad

One of 'em a judge

T'other one his beadle

Every day they'd nudge

And they'd wheedle

But she wouldn't budge

From her needle

Too bad. Pure thing

So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did

Leaving her with nothing but grief and a year-old kid

Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!

Poor fool

Ah, but there was worse yet to come--

Poor thing

Johanna, that was the child's name

Pretty little Johanna

Go on

My, but you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her, all polite

Poor thing, poor thing

The judge, he tells her, is all contrite

He blames himself for her dreadful plight

She must come straight to his house tonight!

Poor thing, poor thing

♪

Of course, when she goes there

Poor thing, poor thing

They're havin' this ball all in masks

There's no one she knows there

Poor dear, poor thing

She wanders tormented, and drinks

Poor thing

The judge has repented, she thinks

Poor thing

"Oh, where is Judge Turpin?" she asks

He was there, all right--

Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, you see

And everyone thought it so droll

They figured she had to be daft, you see

So all of 'em stood there and laughed, you see

Poor soul!

Poor thing!

No! Would no one have mercy on her?!

So it is you-- Benjamin Barker