Anhedonic

Goodbye

Sunlit pastures

So distant from this pouring rain

For what I owe to life

Is more than wasted time

Relief has passed me by

And I am just a prisoner

I know that apathy

Has flushed my vessels

Like bleeding cysts

Succumb to pressure

Nothing else remains

So come burn my skin

Breach this rotting shell

Rid my poisoned soul

I've dug holes so deep

I should be in hell

Fill my grave before I know

Would you stay?

Agony has made

Pestilence divine

Would you stay when

Death has lost its charm

And joy is just a dream?

Give in to sleep

Give it a minute

I'll be the best I can be

Given to me

Without a meaning

Or so I'm told

Driven to need

Another reason

I must detest what you love

Believe in me

Or suffer treason

Dare not challenge

A jealous god

Restless and intent on vengeance

I have scratched

And clawed for purpose

This is not what I intended

Festering projection

Well aware of my reflections scorn

I am nothing good

Pervasive spite will reign

And you'll forget my fucking name

Pervasive spite will reign

The light in me is lost

I am only hate

Now

Trapped in my delusion's grasp

Never to be seen again

Toxic assimilation

Rusting the cogs

The foresight of misery

Aligned with my thoughts

Foreboding silence is

The state I resolve

Invested in resignation

Clamoring to stall the crash

This is the best of me

This is the best I can be

Stay away from me