Mattie's Lament

Dear Mom and Dad

Things are fine here

And by fine I mean, well

I'm not shivved so that's something

Statistically so many people die each day

That that I'm not one of them's something to celebrate

It's the little things

The very little things

Things that seem so insignificant you might forget

Til those little things are the only things left

And you don't mope

Like there's no hope

Like the world's come crumbling down

You're one forced muscle twitch from turning up that frown

I have friends here

And by friends I mean convicts who murdered their families

And yet who I somehow trust more

Than I can these girls

Who called me their friend

Then threw me under a bus and left me for dead

But it's the little things

The very little things

It's those things you don't think would occur in your life

But some girl named Tasha just made me her wife

And you don't cry

Or just ask why

There's always something you can do

Even when you're stuck wondering

Why the fuck this would happen to you

Sorry Mom and Dad, prison has hardened me

When I think about the way things were before

I don't think that I can do this anymore

I want to cry

I want to scream

I need to shout

I want to claw my way out

I want to claw my way back in time

I wouldn't ever cheer, I wouldn't try

I'd just join the chess club or ballet

And have a better definition of a bad day

I'm sorry I was reckless

I'm sorry I got drunk

I'm sorry about peer pressure

Peer pressure sucks

And I'm just like oh my god, I can't do this forever

The best thing I'll do in a year is knit a sweater

I don't think I'm cut out for doing time

I need a better lawyer

I need a better life

Can this really be how it's all gonna go

Cause I don't think I killed those girls

I really don't

Shut the fuck up!

But it's the little things

The very little things

It's those things that should really mean nothing at all

But nothing in hell is a big freaking ball

So you say crap, I guess that's that

You build a bridge and you move on

And hope that four years doesn't feel very long