Practically Perfect - London Cast Recording

By the time the wind has blown the weather vane around

I'll show you if I can

No matter what the circumstance for one thing I'm renowned

My character is spit-spot-spic and span

I'm practically perfect in every way

Practically perfect?

So people say

Each virtue virtually knows no bound

Each trait is great and patently sound

I'm practically perfect from head to toe

If I had a fault it would never dare to show

I'm so practically perfect in every way

Both prim and proper and never too stern

Well-educated yet willing to learn

I'm clean and honest my manner refined

And I wear shoes of the sensible kind

I suffer no nonsense and whilst I remain

There's nothing else I feel I need to explain

I'm practically perfect in every way

Practically perfect, that's my forte

Uncanny nannies are hard to find

Unique yet meek, unspeakably kind

I'm practically perfect not slightly soiled

Running like an engine that's just been freshly oiled!

I'm so practically perfect in every way

Well, those are my credentials

Perhaps you have a few questions?

Not tempermental?

Never

Not grouchy or gruff?

Oh! The very thought

Will you stay tender when the going gets tough?

Quite the contrary

Do you read stories without a big fuss?

Mm-hm

Or have objections to playing with us?

Oh, I like games

But I choose them

Some minor improvements may not go a miss

But at all times you must remember this

You're practically perfect in every way

I guarantee!

Practically perfect, we hope you'll stay

No flies on me

Each virtue virtually knows no bound

Each trait is great

And patently sound

Spit spot!

♪

Jane, put your toys away, please

Do I have to?

Yes

Michael, tidy your things

It's not fair!

I didn't say I was fair, I said

I'm practically perfect and here's my aim

By the time I leave here, you both will be the same

You'll be practically perfect

Practically perfect

You (we) will be practically perfect in every way!