How the Other Half Lives

This is living!

This is what I call living

I've hungered for this day

Since Heaven knows when

Year after year with a secret yen

All of my prayers, all my desire

Ev'ry waking moment with my heart afire!

Give me the meat without the gravy

I'll take the oyster sans the pearl

Pinching pennies, clipping coupons

See a brand new world unfurl

Let me brown bag all my lunches

Try my hand at canned cuisine

A Berlitz class I long to pass

How the other half

How the other half lives!

No fourteen-karat cronies, phonies

Fair-weather friends

I want an "on-the-dole" mate, soulmate

Stormy-weather friends

Pour me the milk but hold the honey

Bring on those funny money woes

Paying Paul by robbing Peter

Layaway to buy my clothes

Summer on the Isle of Coney

Winter in Hell's Kitchenette

I'll turn my dial to rank and file

How the other half -

How the other half lives!

Poor? Not me, honey

I don't want those money woes

I'll marry Paul or Dave or Rob or Peter

So I can buy my clothes at Saks Fifth Avenue

Bergdorf Goodman too

The privileged few plus you-know-who

How the other half

How the other half lives!

I'm on the way up!

I'm on the way down!

It's a good thing we met in the middle!

Pour me the milk but hold the honey (Poor? Not me!)

Bring on those funny money woes (Honey, I don't want those money woes)

Paying Paul by robbing Peter (I'll marry Paul or Dave or Rob or Peter)

Layaway to buy my clothes (So I can buy my clothes at Saks)

Summer on the Isle of Coney (Fifth Avenue)

Winter in Hell's Kitchenette (Bergdorf Goodman, too)

A wild sojourn

So I can learn

Livin' like the other half!