Busted

Why? Why would I do this?

I have a tattoo on my under-age backside!

Busted, you're busted!

I knew somehow that you could never truthfully be trusted

A tattoo?

What were you thinking!

Perfect skin is not for inking!

I won't have you be the star of

Girls Gone Wild!

Oh, no, you're busted, busted!

My child

I smoke?

Torrey, throw these away!

Enabler

Ah, that's why my mouth tastes like carpet!

Busted, you're busted!

I'm shocked, my world is rocked

And I'm a little bit disgusted

And it's not like it's no biggie

Every time you sneak a ciggie

You are setting off a tiny cancer bomb!

But now you're busted, busted!

Dear mom

And what else are you hiding?

That you never thought I'd see

And what else are you hiding

From the principal and me?

These bills are overdue

God, money, what a pain!

These books are overdue

It's money down the drain!

And here, a secret spot

Aha! I found your stash!

This is so-not-organic!

Busted, you're busted!

You're hosed now I've exposed you!

You are through, you're done and dusted!

This is sketchy and it's hinky

Although thank you for the twinkie

Cause we all need some cream filling now and then

Oh, no, you're busted, busted!

Again

Mom, seriously? Calm down!

I found your secret munchies

So where do you hide the bong?

I don't do drugs!

I eat Cheetos in bed because they comfort me!

I thought this was a scrunchie

Turns out it was a thong!

Mom, get that out of your hair!

I found your secret stash!

Candy corn?

Mom, lame!

It should be available year-round!

I checked your browser cache

Fox News? For shame!

Just looking for truth, dad!

I saw that look, oh, geez, dad!

You're hot for that au pair!

I found all your CDs, dad!

I knew that you liked Cher!

And dishonesty can hurt

And lies we can't accept

But the biggest thing I've learned

Snooping while you slept

Is with moms and dads and kids

Some secrets should be kept!

But now you're busted, you're busted!

You're fine and ever shiny

Reputation has been rusted!

You're cheeky, and you're sneaky!

And a little maladjusted

I'm muddled and befuddled

And entirely nonplussed-ed

I told you when you're older

You would wish we had discussed it

Now I'm off to find the rest that you conceal!

Oh, no, you're busted!

Yeah-huh, you're busted!

Ooh-ooh, you're busted, busted

For real

A box filled with old pasta?

That's just weird!

This necklace that I made her

Huh, it's actually not half-bad

The journal that I gave her

And the family with her dad

All these secrets that she keeps

All these things I wish I'd known

And some I'm glad I know now

But some should stay her own