No News

She said, "It's just a woman thing"

And pulled out of the drive

I said not to worry

I'm an understanding guy

I heard when you love someone

You gotta let them go

She hollered, "When I find myself

You'll be the first to know"

Ooh hoo no news

I've learned to do the laundry

Feed the cat and clean the house

I promised to be patient

While she worked her problems out

When she packed her bags

Her destination was unclear

But I sensed that her intentions

Were honest and sincere

Ooh hoo no news

She could telephone, tell a friend

Tell a lie bout where she's been

Send a pigeon, send a fax

Write it on a post-it pad

Send a signal up in smoke

Tap it out in Morse code

I'd prefer a bad excuse

To no news

Her mama's been a little vague

As to her whereabouts

Her sister says, "I'm certain

Your romance is headed south"

I don't have a single doubt

That she's still in love

My level of anxiety

Is just a product of

Ooh hoo no news

She could telephone, tell a friend

Tell a lie bout where she's been

Send a pigeon, send a fax

Write it on a post-t oad

Send a signal up in smoke

Tap it out in Morse code

I'd prefer a bad excuse

She missed her bus, missed her plane

Surely this can be explained

Lost her car at the mall

Got locked in a bathroom stall

Joined a cult, joined the Klan

On the road with Pearl Jam

Buried with the Grateful Dead

Came back as a parrot head

Got derailed, got de-iced

Offered as a sacrifice

FBI, CIA, if they've seen her

They ain't saying

No news! Still no news! Oh oh oh