Everyone Hates His Parents

Just look at me

I'm a world class traveler

Each Friday night

Travel, travel, travel from her house to his house

First take the 104 with my computer

I'm just a little kid not a commuter

And each Sunday night mother comes to get me

And I hear them fight

Everybody's yelling about the bar mitzvah

It's not a wrestling match

Why are they sweating?

It's not a funeral

What's so upsetting?

It's a celebration where I get presents

But everybody's yelling

And everybody's ruining it

It's a celebration where I get richer

But everybody's yelling

And everybody's ruining it

Everybody's ruining it

Why oh why?

What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah?

What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah? (What have we done that we'd ruin your bar mitzvah?)

I want the Applebaums they're lovely and they like me

They're boring, she just likes the way you dress

Well, who wouldn't?

Have the Applebaums

Screw the Applebaums

Please don't do this

Saul's a jerk

Just have them

Nix them

Long live the Applebaums arguing takes work

I hate this

Blame her

It is all a waste

You're gonna blame me?

You have paintings of dicks

Don't talk to me about taste!

Stop!

I don't want a bar mitzvah

okay?

I don't want a bar mitzvah!

What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?

What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?

How do you think we?

How do you think we?

How do you think we feel about that?

♪

Jason I am agitato grande

Jason I am muy disgutante

And muy disappointe

And muy naseatus

And me mitzraim hotzionno dayenu

Everyone hates his parents

Don't be ashamed

You'll grow up

You'll come through

You'll have kids and they'll hate you too

Oh everyone hates his parents

But, I confess you grow up

You get old, you hate less

But I don't want it

Nothing that gives them pleasure I'll do

I don't want a bar mitzvah

Stupid bar mitzvah

Any bar mitzvah, would you?

Everyone hates his parents

That's in the Torah!

It's what history shows

In fact god said to Moses

Moses, everyone hates his parents, that's how it is.

And god knew, because god hated his

You are gonna kill your mother

Don't feel guilty, kill your mother

Rather than humiliate her killing your mother is the merciful thing to do

Jason, darling, don't get nervous

I'm right here, and at your service

Look, I'm calm and self deluded

Grateful, cause I hope you'll do what I pray you'll do

Go ahead and kill your mother

Not with guns, but kill your mother

Rather than humiliate her

Killing your mother is the merciful thing to do

Oh my god

Everyone hates his parents

Now I see why

But in time they'll cool out

And you'll think they were only fooling

It's a strange thing about parents

Push turns to shove

What was hate becomes, more or less, love

Jason, please see a psychiatrist

I'm a psychiatrist, get lost!

♪

Everyone hates his parents

This too shall pass

You'll grow up

I'll come through

I'll have kids

And they'll hate you too

Oh, everyone hates his parents

But, kid, I guess

You'll grow up

I'll grow up

You'll get old

I'll get old

And hate less

Flip me!

You got it

And hate less