Dance: Ten; Looks: Three

I swiped my dance card once after an audition

And on a scale of ten they gave me

For dance

Ten

For looks

Three

Well!

Dance, ten, looks, three

And I'm still on unemployment

Dancing for my own enjoyment

That ain't it, kid, That ain't it, kid!

Dance, ten, looks, three

Is like to die

Left the theater

And called the doctor

For my appointment to buy

Tits and ass

Bought myself a fancy pair

Tightened up the derriere

Did the nose with it

All that goes with it!

Tits and ass

Had the bingo-bongos done

Suddenly I'm getting national tours

Tits and ass won't get you jobs

Unless they're yours

Didn't cost a fortune neither

Didn't hurt my sex life either

Flat and sassy

I would get the strays and losers

Beggars really can't be choosers

That ain't it, kid, that ain't it, kid

Fix the chassis,"How do you do"

Life turned into an

Endless medley of

"Gee, it had to be you"

Why?

Tits and ass

Where the cupboard once was bare

Now you knock and someone's there

You have got 'em, hey, top to bottom, hey

It's a gas

Just a dash of silicone

Shake your new maracas and you're fine

Tits and ass can change your life

They sure changed mine

♪

You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?

Have it all done

Honey, take my word

Grab a cab, c'mon

See the wizard on

Park and seventy-third

For

Tits and ass

Orchestra and balcony

What they want is what ya see

Keep the best of you

Do the rest of you

Pits or class

I have never seen it fail

Debutante or chorus girl or wife

Tits and ass

Yes, tits and ass

Have changed my life!